Saturday, 4 May 2013

A gal was annoyed by a hum

A gal was annoyed by a hum
by Rick Lime

A gal was annoyed by a hum
It was me, but I tried to play dumb
When she asked “was that you
On the stupid kazoo?”
I said “No I’ve been beating my …um…”

He’s so humble he won’t even hum
Though he bumbles he isn’t a bum
He’s become truly shy
Someone cute’s caught his eye
And she mumbles the same as his mum

Unbidden my head starts to hum
Amid meter and rhyme I succumb
And I cannot explain
Though I think that it’s plain
There are times when my muse likes to slum

My TV’s developed a hum
And my banjo will no longer strum
All ‘cuz when I watched Hannity
I lost my sanity
Good thing I don’t own a gum

Squatting carpenters constantly hum
Not aware that they’re showing their bum
So good poet or hack
Can’t but help take a crack
At some cheeky verse, warped more than plumb

Now I think we’re beginning to hum
Some girls giggled and wrote the word ‘bum’
I can see the allure
‘Cuz we’re not that mature
Apropos for the lim-off alum

A fellow would haw then he’d hum
Then he’d curse at the IRS scum
When he adds up his tax
It’s deductions he lacks
He owes more than the parts of his sum

The idol can whistle and hum
But his talent’s no better than some
Still he gets their awards
‘Cuz he’s learned all three chords
So an overnight hit he’s become

The woodwinds were starting to hum
The maestro looked typically glum
Then as he took the stage
He went into a rage
As he waved his baton to and from

A gal was annoyed by a hum
And I don’t want to say she was dumb
But by turning the switch
She could deal with her itch
Much more quietly using her thumb

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