Saturday, 12 July 2014

Cheap and Petty

There's not much to say about this limerick. A couple of online images caught my eye and I mashed them together.

Mr Harper, now please don’t get mad
If I pick on you more than a tad
I’ll concede you take care
Of your Lego like hair
But at photo-bombs, really, you’re sad

In case you're interested, here's the second image:


Auto correct errors are now accepted as part of modern communication. Fat fingers and tiny keys can lead to hilarious and sometimes awkward exchanges. Here’s one fictional example. You can tell it’s fictional, because neither of my daughters would use the word ‘rad’.

The texts from my daughter are rife
With ways auto-correct causes strife
Once she typed in “Dear Dad,
You’re so totally rad!”
But it came out “You’ve ruined my Life #@!”

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Can I Say Bullshit Here?

Did you know that 97% of scientists are in agreement that human activity is contributing to global warming? In light of that scientific consensus, it’s difficult not to ridicule the climate change deniers in Washington (and Ottawa). Their latest subterfuge is to claim an inability to form an opinion due to their lack of scientific credentials. Here’s Speaker of the House John Boehner doing just that: "Boehner on Climate Change" and here’s my polimerick response:

When climate deniers admit
They’re not experts in science, to wit
Johnny Boehner avows
We can blame it on cows
What they mean is they don’t give a shit.

Monday, 7 July 2014

Lack of Wills and Immigration Pills

Immigration reform in the United States is becoming a bigger problem with each passing month. Refugees from several troubled Latin American countries are crossing the border, any way they can. Meanwhile, the Republican congress refuses to discuss the bipartisan immigration bill proposed by the senate about a year ago. One of their bizarre arguments for not debating the legislation is that the border should be secure before addressing the issue.

Immigration reform is a goal
But a recent Republican poll
Said "We know that we're ill,
But we won't take a pill
'Till our symptoms are under control"

Good Guys With Guns

If you haven't been keeping up, Target Stores finally and 'respectfully' have asked gun owners not to bring their weapons shopping. This is the latest chapter in a very heated debate and it got me thinking about the NRA's position on 'gun free zones' and their post Sandy Hook speech. That's the one in which Wayne LaPierre said the only defense against a bad guy with a gun, was a good guy with a gun.

On the blackboard, we've written in chalk
The advice from an NRA talk
And since Johnny hit Sloan
In the head, with a stone
Ev'ry kid in the class has a rock


OK, here I go, recommitting to posting regular limericks and other flotsam and jetsam. But, this time I really mean it.  I can't say it will be daily, but at least once or twice a week I'll post a 'polimerick' (polemic + Limerick) and hopefully some lighter verse as well.

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

To Scalia and Co.

The secret of sex is it's sweet
Be the passion enduring or fleet
Still, the cristian right lobby
Has made it a hobby
To dictate their moral conceit

You'll abstain till you're wed they repeat
You're a slut if you act 'indiscreet'
When these people get nude
They're so priggish and prude
They make love through a hole in a sheet

But this limerick isn't complete
Women's rights won't go down in defeat
To Scalia and Co.
I'd just like you to know
You can all go and suck on my teat