paul bunyanh

Paul Bunyan is President

 

I swear that Paul Bunyan was real

Charismatic with passion and zeal

He could buy, he could sell

And he did it so well

That they called it the art of the deal

 

As a paragon Paul was perfected

As the president he was elected

At his rallies they roared

While his ratings, they soared

So on Rushmore his face was erected

 

On the border he built a big wall

It was more than a hundred feet tall

It kept out all the drugs

And those immigrant thugs

And the Mexicans paid for it all

 

I’ll admit he was over the top

But he made all the terrorists stop

Said the climate was fine

Made Iran tow the line

And told China, their trade he would chop

 

All aspersions of him were a hoax

His opponents were liars and jokes

Bunyan’s life was a saga

His motto was MAGA

He loved all the downtrodden folks

 

Whatever he did, it was great

His accomplishments wouldn’t abate

With each tweet that he hurled

He reshaped the world

For men who were rich white and straight

 

His biographers can’t stop their crowing

Their accounts of his glory are glowing

With a wave of his hand

He united the land

So, the legend of Paul keeps on growing

       ……

Tall tales just aren’t truthful, to whit:

To be POTUS, Paul never was fit

If you look, you’ll agree

Since the time he was three

What he touched always turned into shit