A fellow refused to eat crow

Entries for Madeleine Kane's weekly limerick-off contest

A fellow refused to eat crow

by Rick Lime

A woman refused to eat crow
A character weakness? P’rhaps so
But inconsequential
To her existential
And meaningless wait for Godot

A fellow refused to eat crow

For a very good reason, he'd show

Both his foot and a bird

In his mouth, was absurd

Clearly, one of the two had to go

A woman refused to eat crow

For the row that she'd chosen to hoe

And she carried with grace

Every line in her face

While she reaped every seed that she'd sow

Dick Morris refused to eat crow

He’s been wrong umpteen times in a row

But for him to admit

That he’s been full of sh#t

Would compel him cojones to grow

A fellow refused to eat crow

And for him this was quite apropos

Crow’s unclean, unlike pigeon

Based on his religion

Leviticus ‘leven or so

Where did all these kids come from?

I'm sure men aren't quite as out of touch as the limerick suggests...are we?

Where did all these kids come from?

by Rick Lime

Of her children, a woman knows all

From their friends to their favorite doll

A man by compare

Might be vaguely aware

That some short people live down the hall

A fellow would frequently claim

A fellow would frequently claim

by Rick Lime

A fellow would frequently claim

That as neighbours we’re really the same

Maple leaf and Old Glory

The deal is, we’re sorry

For Howie Mandel and his game

A woman would frequently claim

Her allegiance to old 'Nottur' Dame

But for now, as of yet, her

Poor Irish look better

On paper than during the game

 This fellow would just like to claim

That my comments about Notre Dame

Whose play was quite checkered

Were put on the record

An hour before the big game

A fellow would frequently claim

There’s a virtue to ‘ready, fire, aim’

But to me it just sounds

Like you’ve got lots of rounds

And you’re not concerned whom you could maim

A fellow would frequently claim

Everyone gets a few minutes fame

His tomato soup can

An art movement began

Giving him a much longer acclaim

Historians frequently claim

On the Romans, we, sin tax can blame

At each bacchanalia

A bean counter would trail ya

To note if you went or you came

A fellow would frequently claim

That all women he knew were the same

Always early he’d wait

With concern for each date

And thank god if they finally came

A fellow would frequently claim

His impeachment was all a big frame

So he wrote in his book

“I am still not a crook

I’m responsible, but not to blame”

Check out Madelaine Kane's weekly limerick-off at http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2013/01/06/limerick-claim-limerick-off-monday/

Snow

Snow

by Rick Lime

The snow’s from that Christmas in Wales

Where it shawled up in buckets and pails

Dylan’s picture is pretty

Rob Service, more gritty

It feels like his cold arctic trails

What's on sale?

What's on sale

by Rick Lime

The hardware store patron was thrifty

Can you guess what he bought, that was nifty

One dollar for 4

40’s one dollar more

                                 He paid three for 250 (two hundred and fifty)

Run it up the flag pole day

Today is "Run it up the flag pole and see who salutes it" day.

Run it up the flagpole day

by Rick Lime

Today is for any idea

Do Re Mi or the Ava Maria

Let it drop in their lap

And then either they'll clap

Or they'll act like you've got gonorrhea

Z Day

Today is Z day. In honor of those that get called last in the roll.

Z Day

by Rick Lime

We all know if your name starts with Zee

That the back of the line's where you'll be

And the same can be said

If your name starts with Zed

But today you go first, by decree