The Witnesses

I told this story, a couple of years ago, when I was teaching an Introduction to Computing course. My intent was to demonstrate the pitfalls of multi-tasking. It also, sort of, has a little fun at the expense of Jehovah's Witnesses.  How was I to know that my class included half a dozen members of the local Kingdom Hall. I was a little embarrassed, but they were good sports about it. Here it is, translated into verse form.

Kith and Kin here’s a day in the life

Of an overwrought mother and wife

Though the tale I will mete

In a regular beat

Mine’s a moral where chaos is rife

I awoke; it was seven-fifteen

Tried to dress but no undies were clean

So, I stripped to the buff

Gathered clothes in a huff

Trundled down to the washing machine

As a mother I’ve learned how to cope

And I seldom will snivel, or mope

So I took it in stride

(Okay, maybe I sighed)

When I found we were fresh out of soap

Then I heard the most god-awful noise

Like the crashing of dishes and toys

I went running upstairs

Midst the yelling and glares

Of my ten year old twin little boys

I asked “Why must you act like baboons?”

As I set out the bowls and the spoons

Then the hubby yelled “Dear,

What’s that racket I hear?”

All this week he was on afternoons

To the bedroom I flew “Hon, don’t fuss”

“It’s not something we need to discuss”

I said “Kids! Now I’m mad

You just woke up your dad”

But they’d already left for the bus

So I started to work at the sink

Plan my day, take a moment to think

When the telephone rang

To the office I sprang

On the line it was MasterCard Inc.

Well, those guys make me green at the gills

So I sat down to work on the bills

But then something occurred

It was something I heard

 From the kitchen; it gave me the chills

See, the sink overflowed on the floor

Then a ding-dong; who’s that at the door

As I shut of the tap

I was thinking “Oh crap”

What fresh hell could this day have in store

On the stoop were those people you dread

Saving souls for the rapture ahead

When I heard them both say

“How ya doin’ today”

I composed myself first, then I said

“The laundry’s been washed without soap

With my credit card debt I can’t cope

I’ve got more than a hunch

That my kids have no lunch

And I’ve flooded the house, like a dope

But if that’s not enough I’ll attest

That the last has been saved for the best

For I just realized

Cuz you seem so surprised
That I haven’t found time to get dressed!”