Can I Say Bullshit Here?

Did you know that 97% of scientists are in agreement that human activity is contributing to global warming? In light of that scientific consensus, it’s difficult not to ridicule the climate change deniers in Washington (and Ottawa). Their latest subterfuge is to claim an inability to form an opinion due to their lack of scientific credentials. Here’s Speaker of the House John Boehner doing just that: "Boehner on Climate Change" and here’s my polimerick response:

When climate deniers admit

They’re not experts in science, to wit

Johnny Boehner avows

We can blame it on cows

What they mean is they don’t give a shit.

Lack of Wills and Immigration Pills

Immigration reform in the United States is becoming a bigger problem with each passing month. Refugees from several troubled Latin American countries are crossing the border, any way they can. Meanwhile, the Republican congress refuses to discuss the bipartisan immigration bill proposed by the senate about a year ago. One of their bizarre arguments for not debating the legislation is that the border should be secure before addressing the issue.

Immigration reform is a goal

But a recent Republican poll

Said "We know that we're ill,

But we won't take a pill

'Till our symptoms are under control"

Good Guys With Guns

If you haven't been keeping up, Target Stores finally and 'respectfully' have asked gun owners not to bring their weapons shopping. This is the latest chapter in a very heated debate and it got me thinking about the NRA's position on 'gun free zones' and their post Sandy Hook speech. That's the one in which Wayne LaPierre said the only defense against a bad guy with a gun, was a good guy with a gun.

On the blackboard, we've written in chalk

The advice from an NRA talk

And since Johnny hit Sloan

In the head, with a stone

Ev'ry kid in the class has a rock

Recommiting

OK, here I go, recommitting to posting regular limericks and other flotsam and jetsam. But, this time I really mean it.  I can't say it will be daily, but at least once or twice a week I'll post a 'polimerick' (polemic + Limerick) and hopefully some lighter verse as well.

To Scalia and Co.

The secret of sex is it's sweet

Be the passion enduring or fleet

Still, the cristian right lobby

Has made it a hobby

To dictate their moral conceit

You'll abstain till you're wed they repeat

You're a slut if you act 'indiscreet'

When these people get nude

They're so priggish and prude

They make love through a hole in a sheet

But this limerick isn't complete

Women's rights won't go down in defeat

To Scalia and Co.

I'd just like you to know

You can all go and suck on my teat

A woman was planning to truck

A woman was planning to truck

From New York up to Muckalucktuk

So, it's no surprise, eh

That she'd buy on the way

Some poutine, smokes, a toque, and a puck

Check out Mad Kane's weekly limerick contest 

http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2013/10/27/limerick-truck-limerick-off-monday/

The Snake

Entered into Mad Kane's weekly limerick contest
http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2013/10/06/limerick-snake-limerick-off-monday/

Check it out!

The Snake

by Rick Lime

“We all hate the Gov” hissed the snake

Vote for me, and it back, I will take

But the snake, who was sly

Had in fact, told a lie

His intent was, this country, to break!

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the snake

Said “Your freedom’s the thing that’s at stake”

While his plan, which is real

Is your freedom, to steal

Tread upon in his Tea Party’s wake

So, beware the forked tongue of the snake

Randall Paul and Ted Cruz for him spake

They grandstand, filibust,

Neither man should you trust

To be gullible is our mistake

David Koch is the name of the snake

There’s a hunger he never will slake

And he’ll make us all bleed

For his corporate greed.

Head him not, or your future forsake!