Purity

I recently got pulled into a discussion about which progressive activities were the most effective and whether voting should be encouraged. Some 'leftists' need a kick in the pants!

You will wander and wend 'ere you find

Any man with a more open mind

'One for all' to a fault

I'm the anti John Galt

I'm progressive, inclusive and kind

I believe in "United We Stand"

And in sharing the fat of the land

So you'd think i would know

How to go with the flow

When we're not eye to eye; glove in hand

Take this fellow from work, he's a peer

Though he's charitable and sincere

I won't give to his cause

As it still gives me pause

When he labels all gay people 'queer'

And the candidate I should endorse

She's a socialist stalwart, of course

Can't rely on my vote

Cuz I read in a quote

Of her catholic views on divorce

There's my cousin whose fighting pollution

He's requested a small contribution

And I'd lend him a hand 

If he'd alter his stand

On the Middle East two state solution

My objections to some seem obscure

And at times even I can't be sure 

But out here on the left

We're exceedingly deft

At deciding whose tainted or pure 

If you think that my views are extreme

They're not nearly unique as they seem

Our ideals are intact

And we're ready to act

We just need to awake from the dream

That our differences all melt away

And we join hands together and sway

Cuz we know in our heart

We were meant to be part

Of the grand resurrection of Che

The Putsch

To be clear, the Conservatives in Canada's parliament are every bit as batshit crazy as the Republicans in Washington. The difference is that Stephen Harper runs his government with the discipline of Benito Mussolini and Dick Cheney. Boehner and McConnell on the other hand act like a couple of inept thugs trying to establish  control over the Hole-In-The-Wall gang.

But, as different as these two governments appear, in both cases the result is the same.

The Putsch:

The Koch brothers must be admired

They're relentless, they never got tired

And they mounted a coup

Before anyone knew

That a Pinochet putsch had transpired

The Libertarian

This multi-verse limerick was inspired by a recent online 'exchange' over the growing number of U.S. states that are implementing so-called 'Right to Work' legislation. The intent is not to try to sway anyone's opinion about Right to Work or any of the other libertarian agenda items. Rather, it's intended to show that there's very little use debating these issues with someone driven by ideology and not conscience.

He’s a ‘nothing or all’ kind of guy

Gather ‘round and I’ll tell you all why

With each subject he checks

If it seems too complex

Understanding, he won’t even try

Every issue is treated the same

In his cold libertarian game

When he says “Let’s be free”

He means “Me! Me! Me! Me!”

And this selfishness authors his shame

If he thinks there’s a smidgeon of waste

He will act with remarkable haste

Weed it out branch and root

In a headlong pursuit

To have safety net programs erased

If a union appears to have power

He will over-react and he’ll glower

He’ll remove labor rights

Earned through decades of fights

Till the middle class plight becomes dour

  

Then there’s voter ID, oh my god!

Even though there’s no actual fraud

When restricting the vote

He can’t help but connote

His concern is a racist façade

Any governance stirs up his wrath

Despite science, good conscience or math

His approach, you can see

Will consistently be
Throw the baby away with the bath

Pride Goeth Before Destruction, and a Haughty Spirit Before a Fall

I've started reading Micheal Harris's wonderful book "Party of One". Here's my first reflection:

During Canada’s anachronistically named ‘Speech to the Throne’ on June 3, 2011, a young senate page rose in an act of civil disobedience. Brigette DePape stood up, quietly holding a makeshift sign that read “Stop Harper”. All of institutional Canada short-sightedly criticized her for disrespecting the Canadian system of government.

In the three and a half years since then, Stephen Harper’s scandals have made a mockery of the senate. He flips the bird to opposition parties at every opportunity. He’s muzzled his own back benchers and members of cabinet. As Prime Minister, he’s openly attacked the Supreme Court. He neutered Elections Canada after his party was convicted of election fraud. And, last but not least, Harper’s omnibus approach to legislation bypasses the basic principles of our parliamentary democracy.

It must be one of the greatest ironies in Canadian history that the people who criticized Brigette for her mis-behaviour have been so humiliatingly ‘bitch-slapped’ by the very subject of her warning.  With all that in mind, here's my latest limerick:

Harper’s hubris continues to grow

With contempt for us from the word ‘go’

And to stop being sacked

He relies on the fact

That we’re all so surprisingly slow

What's for Lunch?

This week, the US congress passed the devastating CRomnibus spending bill. This bill guts the Dodd-Frank financial regulations put in place to protect us from Wall Street's otherwise unchecked greed. It also lifts campaign contribution limits, allowing for even more corporate influence during elections. The bill weakens the EPA and effectively cancels the pro-pot initiative recently passed in Washington DC. Democrats voting for the CRomnibus defended their actions saying things would be worse if they delayed because the Republicans will soon control the senate.

A Democrat strategist said

"Though this CRomnibus bill we all dread

Wihen your choice is, to wit

Eat a sandwich of shit

Always go for the one with more bread"

But the logic he used is a trap

A canard that we all need to scrap

If you're living in fright 

Of a fight with the right

Then you'll always eat one percent crap

All My Trials

So much discussion about the non-indictment of Michael Brown's killer. It seems every cop is granted double 'O' status when they leave the academy. Fourteen children have been killed by cops since that fateful day in August. Lots of analysis; lots of punditry. My favorite platitude this week? "We live in a nation of laws" A lot of well meaning people have been trying to answer the question "Why isn't Darren Wilson being charged with ... something?" Here's my attempt at an answer.

Look around 

Past row houses in Ferguson Missouri

Down the long antebellum rows of cotton

Look

Beyond the police line; the race line

The scarred line 

Jagged across Old Glory’s tattered furls

Look how it connects the money, the congressmen, the cops

And smell it … can you smell it?

The smoke, the tear gas, the rage

Ferguson is burning

Across the years, Atlanta is burning 

Resentment still settling

Like soot on sons of the south

Listen

Deep down in your soul

Listen

Your granddads Klan is tryin’ to be heard

“Lose your job?  … The colored man took it”

“High taxes?  … Shiftless welfare bums”

 “Angry? Afraid? … White privilege my ass!”

Now

Do you feel it?

Drumbeats pulsing in your brain

Feel it

A familiar tune

Faintly rising to the pounding beat

Hum it with me … Sing it with me

This is our song

“Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton …”

What Would McKenzie King do?

First, let me say that I am saddened and dismayed by the cowardly murders of Canadian soldiers this past week. Terrorism of any kind is abhorrent. The fact that both perpetrators had been previously identified as potential security threats is cause for concern. Fighting a war on two fronts is a challenge; especially if we have no clear goal or strategy.  Other than saying that we won’t be intimidated, Stephen Harper appears to be clueless about what to do next. So, let me put this little bug in his ear.

Here’s a stratagem we might explore

If there’s Muslims at home we abhor

We could make them wear stamps

Or intern them in camps
Not forever …  just while we’re at war

It's Not Really News

A recent fact checking study concluded that every other statement made on FOX news, by a host or a guest, is flat out false. Even worse, only 8% of the statements checked could be considered completely true.

With that in mind, I offer this limerick:

Where there's smoke must we always have fires

And do hobbits live only in shires

I remember from school

There are rends to each rule

So, all Hannitys might not be liars

The full story, on Addicting Info, can be read here:

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/07/09/analysis-over-half-of-all-statements-made-on-fox-news-are-false/

Who's pulling his strings?

Spoiler alert; it's the Koch brothers.

Who makes Doctor Randal Paul dance?

Who writes all his Hillary rants?

And who seems to enjoy

That he cries "I'm a boy!"

While he's wearing Pinocchio's pants?

Rand Paul's once wacko but at least consistent libertarian principles have morphed into nonsensical Hillary bashing.

http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/09/07/3564148/paul-clinton-climate-change/

A Metaphor of Sorts

Canadian provinces have jurisdiction over policing and the administration of justice. BC has the responsibility of funding the police, and setting police priorities.

All police in BC are under the authority of the Police Act, an act of the BC Legislature. This includes both RCMP and municipal police.

Sensible BC proposes an amendment to the Police Act, instructing police not to spend any time, money or resources on cases of simple possession of cannabis.

A metaphor’s used quite a lot

As a proxy for something it’s not

Like the time long ago

When a fellow I know

Got arrested for smoking some … radishes

Many people smoke radish, or kale

Although some say they didn’t inhale

But it’s really no joke

When for one little toke

On a radish you wind up in jail

Wrapping up, I’ll try not to be crass

To the cops though, “Alack and alas,

Cuz the last time I checked

You should serve and protect

So do THAT and get off of my … vegetable patch”

For more information, go to http://sensiblebc.ca/

Sarah, True to Form

I'm breaking a promise I made to myself. Based on the faint hope that if everyone ignored her, she might just go away, I swore I wouldn't write about Sarah Palin anymore. But, she won't go away and I can't help relapsing. Sarah now hosts an online subscription channel and here's what she posted in response to a recent speech by Elizabeth Warren.

“We believe”? Wait, I thought fast food joints…huh. Don’t you guys think that they’re like of the Devil or somethin’ I was. Liberals, you want to send those evil employees who would dare work at a fast food joint then ya just don’t believe in, thought you wanted to, I dunno, send them to Purgatory or somethin’ so they all go VEGAN and, uh, wages and picket lines I dunno they’re not often discussed in Purgatory, are they? I dunno why are you even worried about fast food wages because…Well, we believe an America where minimum wage jobs they’re not lifetime gigs they’re stepping stone.”

Her tongue get’s entwined in a knot

As though demons, her mind, have besot

She on principle can’t

Disengarble her rant

Holding grammar a government plot

See the full story, including video, at Salon.com

Cheap and Petty

There's not much to say about this limerick. A couple of online images caught my eye and I mashed them together.

Mr Harper, now please don’t get mad

If I pick on you more than a tad

I’ll concede you take care

Of your Lego like hair

But at photo-bombs, really, you’re sad

In case you're interested, here's the second image:

Can I Say Bullshit Here?

Did you know that 97% of scientists are in agreement that human activity is contributing to global warming? In light of that scientific consensus, it’s difficult not to ridicule the climate change deniers in Washington (and Ottawa). Their latest subterfuge is to claim an inability to form an opinion due to their lack of scientific credentials. Here’s Speaker of the House John Boehner doing just that: "Boehner on Climate Change" and here’s my polimerick response:

When climate deniers admit

They’re not experts in science, to wit

Johnny Boehner avows

We can blame it on cows

What they mean is they don’t give a shit.

Lack of Wills and Immigration Pills

Immigration reform in the United States is becoming a bigger problem with each passing month. Refugees from several troubled Latin American countries are crossing the border, any way they can. Meanwhile, the Republican congress refuses to discuss the bipartisan immigration bill proposed by the senate about a year ago. One of their bizarre arguments for not debating the legislation is that the border should be secure before addressing the issue.

Immigration reform is a goal

But a recent Republican poll

Said "We know that we're ill,

But we won't take a pill

'Till our symptoms are under control"

To Scalia and Co.

The secret of sex is it's sweet

Be the passion enduring or fleet

Still, the cristian right lobby

Has made it a hobby

To dictate their moral conceit

You'll abstain till you're wed they repeat

You're a slut if you act 'indiscreet'

When these people get nude

They're so priggish and prude

They make love through a hole in a sheet

But this limerick isn't complete

Women's rights won't go down in defeat

To Scalia and Co.

I'd just like you to know

You can all go and suck on my teat

The Snake

Entered into Mad Kane's weekly limerick contest
http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2013/10/06/limerick-snake-limerick-off-monday/

Check it out!

The Snake

by Rick Lime

“We all hate the Gov” hissed the snake

Vote for me, and it back, I will take

But the snake, who was sly

Had in fact, told a lie

His intent was, this country, to break!

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the snake

Said “Your freedom’s the thing that’s at stake”

While his plan, which is real

Is your freedom, to steal

Tread upon in his Tea Party’s wake

So, beware the forked tongue of the snake

Randall Paul and Ted Cruz for him spake

They grandstand, filibust,

Neither man should you trust

To be gullible is our mistake

David Koch is the name of the snake

There’s a hunger he never will slake

And he’ll make us all bleed

For his corporate greed.

Head him not, or your future forsake!

Vindicated

The murder of Trayvon Martin and the acquittal of George Zimmerman should serve as a slap in the face to all people of conscience. Racism is a cancer in America.

Vindicated

by Rick Lime

Who’ll we kill next

To show you uppity folks we're still the boss

I see your black president and raise you one, piss in his pants, Glock wielding, son of the south

Don’t you stand on my ground

Wad up your worthless VRA and shove it

This is my country

I make the rules

And I’m tired

Tired of your rap, your hoodies, and your god damned affirmative action

I’m tired of your poverty

And I’m tired

Of you

Blaming me

You want what I got?

Well, you can’t have it.

Serve me my burger

And yes Trayvon, I do want fries with that

Clean my room, rake my lawn

And then, go away

Go home to your rats in the Corn Flakes tenement

With your dead president hanging on the wall

Go home to your ‘pappa’s in jail’ apartment

Go home and keep out of my sight

Tonight

Listen up and listen good

In my country

Might does make right

And it’s not my fault
That you're not white

The Sad and Scary Death of Trayvon Martin

With all my heart I hope I'm wrong about the outcome of the George Zimmerman trial. But, even if I am, Florida's Stand Your Ground and Concealed Carry laws constitute a recipe for disaster.

The Sad and Scary Death of Trayvon Martin

by Rick Lime

In the past in the south you’d be lynched

By the cops or the Klan if you ‘ere pinched

In the sun shiny state

From the fears and the hate

It appears that they’ve not even inched

Trayvon Martin was killed for the crime

“Bein’ black in the wrong place and time”

In the rain in the dark

In a closed gated park

The young boy was shot down in his prime

Of the white man who shot the boy dead

And his family, a lot has been said

They’ve a good catholic home

On their lawn is a gnome

But for black folk there’s fear and there’s dread

When the man and the boy met that night

Some believe they got into a fight

Others say Tray was shot

When he ran and was caught

But the diff’rence it makes will be slight

‘Cuz, the sad fact we don’t want to see

Is the statute, the law, the decree

“Stand Your Ground” when afraid

Could’ve been tailor made

And the jury will have to agree

So, we’d best hold this simple truth dear

In our ignorance, crippling and sheer

That the guns that we own

Leave us scared and alone

And we can’t kill our way out of fear

Harper's Canada

The disastrous polices of the Harper government are destroying Canada's economy, culture, democracy, and environment. Imperial Oil and other multinationals quietly took control of this country and the Conservatives in Ottawa are now just their hand picked board of directors.

Harper's Canada

by Rick Lime

There was a young man from Tarawna

He slept with the boys at Exxon a'

‘N alliance ensued

Between slimy an’ crude

Now O’ Canada may be a gonna'

Could be Worse

The week after I posted "Too Snarky" in the local paper, the mayor called me out in print for picking on him. Each week since then the paper has been filled with one letter after another complaining about how "Snarky" the mayor really is. I fear I have opened the floodgates on a minor revolt...If you don't know about Rob Ford, he's the wacked mayor of Toronto, he's worth a google ...

Could be Worse

by Rick Lime

Well, our mayor is still in hot water

Speaks of people less kind than he oughter

But let’s all thank the lord

That he isn’t Rob Ford

T’ronto’s mayor is really a rotter