The Third Plank

I first told this story to some friends I knew for a short period of time many decades ago. I really don't mean to make too light of the subject matter, but they thought it was quite funny. Then again, they were a captive audience.

Since before I could even grow stubble

My drinking has got me in trouble

But the worst that it got

Might be when I was caught

In my car after drinking a double (or six)

First the cops put me under arrest

Then the judge wasn’t very impressed

Though he granted me bail

He said “You’ll go to jail

If you fail to perform on my test”

Then he said “Booze imbibing’s a bane

And I think the whole world should abstain

So return here, young man

In a week with a plan

So you won’t stand before me again”

I said “Thank you your worship, your grace”

Hurried home to consider my case

Then went back in a week

And proceeded to speak

Of the plan that I’d put into place

I said “Judge, I knew just what to do

First, I scissored my licence in two”

But the judge, somewhat gruff

Said “That isn’t enough

And I hope for your sake you’re not through”

“No your honor”, I said with some pluck

“By itself, I agree, that would suck

But my plan is to walk

So I hope you don't balk

When I tell you I peddled my truck”

Then the judge looked at me quite unkind

Like he thought I was out of my mind

He said "Sonny I think

You'll still drive when you drink

So it’s off to the clink and you’re fined"

I begged “Judge, ‘fore I go to the can

I implore you, I’m now a new man

First my license is gone

Then my truck is in pawn

And I've still got a plank in my plan

On those nights when I'm tipping the jar

I no longer will have to go far

I'll just drink where I'm at

‘Cuz I gave up my flat

And I took a room over the bar”

Miscarriage of Justice

It's bizarre that Purvi Patel could be charged with both feticide and neglect of a dependent. It's discouraging that a jury would find her guilty of both. And, its frightening that she has been sentenced to 20 years for having a miscarriage.

Purvi’s jury should make us all squirm

Their disdain so unfeeling and firm

All so righteous and pure

Consecratedly sure

That their daughters will carry to term

All My Trials

So much discussion about the non-indictment of Michael Brown's killer. It seems every cop is granted double 'O' status when they leave the academy. Fourteen children have been killed by cops since that fateful day in August. Lots of analysis; lots of punditry. My favorite platitude this week? "We live in a nation of laws" A lot of well meaning people have been trying to answer the question "Why isn't Darren Wilson being charged with ... something?" Here's my attempt at an answer.

Look around 

Past row houses in Ferguson Missouri

Down the long antebellum rows of cotton

Look

Beyond the police line; the race line

The scarred line 

Jagged across Old Glory’s tattered furls

Look how it connects the money, the congressmen, the cops

And smell it … can you smell it?

The smoke, the tear gas, the rage

Ferguson is burning

Across the years, Atlanta is burning 

Resentment still settling

Like soot on sons of the south

Listen

Deep down in your soul

Listen

Your granddads Klan is tryin’ to be heard

“Lose your job?  … The colored man took it”

“High taxes?  … Shiftless welfare bums”

 “Angry? Afraid? … White privilege my ass!”

Now

Do you feel it?

Drumbeats pulsing in your brain

Feel it

A familiar tune

Faintly rising to the pounding beat

Hum it with me … Sing it with me

This is our song

“Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton …”

A Metaphor of Sorts

Canadian provinces have jurisdiction over policing and the administration of justice. BC has the responsibility of funding the police, and setting police priorities.

All police in BC are under the authority of the Police Act, an act of the BC Legislature. This includes both RCMP and municipal police.

Sensible BC proposes an amendment to the Police Act, instructing police not to spend any time, money or resources on cases of simple possession of cannabis.

A metaphor’s used quite a lot

As a proxy for something it’s not

Like the time long ago

When a fellow I know

Got arrested for smoking some … radishes

Many people smoke radish, or kale

Although some say they didn’t inhale

But it’s really no joke

When for one little toke

On a radish you wind up in jail

Wrapping up, I’ll try not to be crass

To the cops though, “Alack and alas,

Cuz the last time I checked

You should serve and protect

So do THAT and get off of my … vegetable patch”

For more information, go to http://sensiblebc.ca/

The Sad and Scary Death of Trayvon Martin

With all my heart I hope I'm wrong about the outcome of the George Zimmerman trial. But, even if I am, Florida's Stand Your Ground and Concealed Carry laws constitute a recipe for disaster.

The Sad and Scary Death of Trayvon Martin

by Rick Lime

In the past in the south you’d be lynched

By the cops or the Klan if you ‘ere pinched

In the sun shiny state

From the fears and the hate

It appears that they’ve not even inched

Trayvon Martin was killed for the crime

“Bein’ black in the wrong place and time”

In the rain in the dark

In a closed gated park

The young boy was shot down in his prime

Of the white man who shot the boy dead

And his family, a lot has been said

They’ve a good catholic home

On their lawn is a gnome

But for black folk there’s fear and there’s dread

When the man and the boy met that night

Some believe they got into a fight

Others say Tray was shot

When he ran and was caught

But the diff’rence it makes will be slight

‘Cuz, the sad fact we don’t want to see

Is the statute, the law, the decree

“Stand Your Ground” when afraid

Could’ve been tailor made

And the jury will have to agree

So, we’d best hold this simple truth dear

In our ignorance, crippling and sheer

That the guns that we own

Leave us scared and alone

And we can’t kill our way out of fear

Can we trust NRA

In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the Obama administration's interest in some level of gun control, the NRA is claiming huge increases in membership as well as record sales of semi automatic assault rifles. Please, say it ain't so...

Can we trust NRA

by Rick Lime

Did we have an assault weapons binge
Just the thought should make all of us cringe
Can we trust NRA
to be honest when they
are the voice of a lunatic fringe

Posted on Salon.com http://www.salon.com/2013/01/20/salon_limerick_contest_17/

A likely story

A likely story

by Rick Lime

The trial was about to commence

When the lawyer, at no small expense

Said “My clients no creep,

With regards to that sheep

He was helping it over the fence”

Hide your stash

Hide your stash

by Rick Lime

If the drug cops bust you for the crime

Of possessing a bag worth a dime

Here’s advice I will share

Throw it high in the air

But this only works for a short time