Coffee Klatch

Coffee Klatch

by Rick Lime

For the news I'm afraid there's no match

Who's deceased, what bride made a good catch

Will the coach get the boot

"Think the waitress is cute?"

Don't be late for the town coffee klatch

For Bobby Burns

I posted this on facebook last week, but forgot to blog it.

For Bobby Burns

by Rick Lime

A man is a man for a’ that

His money’s worth nary a squat

Yet with poor honesty

An’ through brotherhood he’ll

Be a king, for a’ that and a’ that

A fellow stepped into the hall

Entries in Mad Kane's weekly limerick off contest

A fellow stepped into a hall

by Rick Lime

A woman stepped into the holl-er

A classic’ly trained square dance call-er

She plays Ludwig Van

And says “Left Allemande”

With the chance that the dancers might Mahl-er

When Ms Clinton stepped into the hall

“You’d be fired by me” said Rand Paul

Hear the Oz lion sing

“If I’d only been king”

Is that pride going before the fall?

A fellow stepped into the hall
First he wept, then he started to bawl
There’s Liz Lemon and Jack
Tracy Morgan and Krak
He had just said good bye to them all

A feller was fixin ta haul
His ramshackle wreck to St. Paul
The dad-burned directions
Shore had imperfections
He purt near drove by Montreal

A fellow stepped into the hall

‘tween the bed and the head on the yawl

And then grinning he swore

“I’ve been blown offshore

And my mast is beginning to fall”

If’n y’all would step into the hall
This here feudin’ we jes might forestall
Ain’t rightly my bidness
But this pro and quid-ness
Is too high-falutin, by gall

How long is that?

How long is that?

by Rick Lime

A transferring student named Peter

Went in search of the school totter-teeter

Asking "Where's the school yard?"

The old teacher mis-h'ard

And said "Just shorter than a school meter."

Burn in

It's been a while since I wrote something lewd or risque.

Burn in

by Rick Lime

It betrays all the time that he spends

On those days with his internet “friends”

There’s an image of asses

Burned into his glasses

That “search xxx” recommends

Hopey Change

I don't think I'm generally spiteful, but sometimes ...

Hopey Change

by Rick Lime

A while ago, Palin would shout

"How's that hopey change thing workin' out?"

At the start of this term

She's beginning to squirm

'Cuz her tea party's almost in rout

A woman had planned to come clean

Entries in Mad Kanes weekly Limerick-off contest

A woman had planned to come clean

by Rick Lime

A fellow who hated to clean

Has created a washing routine

Now he schedules each bath 

Using log’rithmic math

So they’re fewer and farther between

A woman had planned to come clean

But in Smithers, just making the scene

She was randy and lonely

And so she not only

Got drunk, she blew two Smithereens

A fellow is now coming clean

Fastest bicycling junkie there’s been

And he could be forgiven

If he’d only striven

T’ apologize for being mean

A fellow had planned to come clean

To his son, speaking like a machine

He said “Luke, I’m your father

I hope it’s no bother

I guess though, you’ll make a big scene