Monday, 12 October 2020

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Monday, 25 May 2020

RE: modems

 

 

From: swhitred@gmail.com [mailto:swhitred@gmail.com]
Sent: May-24-20 9:54 PM
To: 'therealricklime.limerick@blogger.com'
Subject: modems

 

http://192.168.0.1/#!/home/information

 

http://router.asus.com./login.cgi

 

admin

golden_5367

Monday, 6 April 2020

paul bunyanh

Paul Bunyan is President

 

I swear that Paul Bunyan was real

Charismatic with passion and zeal

He could buy, he could sell

And he did it so well

That they called it the art of the deal

 

As a paragon Paul was perfected

As the president he was elected

At his rallies they roared

While his ratings, they soared

So on Rushmore his face was erected

 

On the border he built a big wall

It was more than a hundred feet tall

It kept out all the drugs

And those immigrant thugs

And the Mexicans paid for it all

 

I’ll admit he was over the top

But he made all the terrorists stop

Said the climate was fine

Made Iran tow the line

And told China, their trade he would chop

 

All aspersions of him were a hoax

His opponents were liars and jokes

Bunyan’s life was a saga

His motto was MAGA

He loved all the downtrodden folks

 

Whatever he did, it was great

His accomplishments wouldn’t abate

With each tweet that he hurled

He reshaped the world

For men who were rich white and straight

 

His biographers can’t stop their crowing

Their accounts of his glory are glowing

With a wave of his hand

He united the land

So, the legend of Paul keeps on growing

       ……

Tall tales just aren’t truthful, to whit:

To be POTUS, Paul never was fit

If you look, you’ll agree

Since the time he was three

What he touched always turned into shit

 

 

 

Sunday, 2 August 2015

The Third Plank

I first told this story to some friends I knew for a short period of time many decades ago. I really don't mean to make too light of the subject matter, but they thought it was quite funny. Then again, they were a captive audience.

Since before I could even grow stubble
My drinking has got me in trouble
But the worst that it got
Might be when I was caught
In my car after drinking a double (or six)

First the cops put me under arrest
Then the judge wasn’t very impressed
Though he granted me bail
He said “You’ll go to jail
If you fail to perform on my test”

Then he said “Booze imbibing’s a bane
And I think the whole world should abstain
So return here, young man
In a week with a plan
So you won’t stand before me again”

I said “Thank you your worship, your grace”
Hurried home to consider my case
Then went back in a week
And proceeded to speak
Of the plan that I’d put into place

I said “Judge, I knew just what to do
First, I scissored my licence in two”
But the judge, somewhat gruff
Said “That isn’t enough
And I hope for your sake you’re not through”

“No your honor”, I said with some pluck
“By itself, I agree, that would suck
But my plan is to walk
So I hope you don't balk
When I tell you I peddled my truck”

Then the judge looked at me quite unkind
Like he thought I was out of my mind
He said "Sonny I think
You'll still drive when you drink
So it’s off to the clink and you’re fined"

I begged “Judge, ‘fore I go to the can
I implore you, I’m now a new man
First my license is gone
Then my truck is in pawn
And I've still got a plank in my plan

On those nights when I'm tipping the jar
I no longer will have to go far
I'll just drink where I'm at
‘Cuz I gave up my flat
And I took a room over the bar”